Victoria’s Secret Self Esteem Sapping Show

Comes with her own scaffolding!
She comes with her own scaffolding!

The other day, my self esteem was kind of riding high, so I decided to watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show, to bring me back down to reality.  Thud.  It totally worked – nothing makes you feel inferior like a pack of thin, toned, leggy amazons with big boobs.   (How is that even genetically possible?)

Maybe it was hot up on stage, with all those bright lights.
Must have been hot up on stage, with all those bright lights.

Things were going well.  I found myself torn between wanting to eat more and feeling an urgent need to work out.   (In the end I did both, so the opposing forces got canceled out.)   I enjoyed watching Rihanna as she crooned about diamonds – her ensemble kind of remind me of a madame presiding over an auction at an upscale brothel.  No one does it better than her!

The makeup enthusiast in me was enjoying watching all the low key, “I don’t need makeup,” makeup looks.  Definitely my kind of pretty.  I was off in my little cosmetics appreciate zone, when all of a sudden, Justin made an appearance, belting out some of his latest hits.    I actually think he did a great job and was grudgingly enjoying his performance, until he got up off his chair and started moving around.

Full diaper look
Full diaper look

What the hell people?  Why is this, “I have a full heavy diaper,” trend still going strong, after more than a decade?

Help?  It's hard to walk.
“Help? It’s hard to walk, and no one  tied my shoe laces….”

It’s as if the trend exists outside of space and time.  Why is the phenomenon so damn resilient to change?

I'm still alive!!!
I’m still alive!!!

It’s as if they are doing everything possible to thwart their efforts to get from A to B.  Maybe it’s to show people that you have what it takes to survive…no…thrive, despite having several self imposed handicaps that impede movement.  Like a peacock with a ridiculously large tail.  If it’s still alive several years later, you know you’ve got a good genetic package standing there infront of you.

Ethereal.  Good for him for leveling the playing field!

What benefit does this low slung look afford the wearer?  I didn’t think things could get worse, until skinny jeans hit the scene.  Now it’s like they’ve taken bell bottoms, and done a total 180.

Reverse bell bottoms.
Reverse bell bottoms.

My God – where are we going with this?

The only one impressed is this guy:

That's hot!
That’s hot!

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