The Mayan Apocalypse – A Survivor’s Story

I survived!!!
I survived!!!

I woke up this morning, after sleeping in, and was pleasantly surprised to be alive.  I made it through the Mayan Apocalypse unscathed!  End of Days?  Pfft.  Please.  I’ve been high fiving people for hours.  Not sure how the rest of the world fared, but Canada (the land of the virtuous) seems to be okay.  Here I am (up above), celebrating my extreme good fortune; maybe prematurely?  A coat is no longer necessary. A slight chill in the air is nothing after you’ve faced down total planetary annihilation.  I’ve come back from the brink and in the grand scheme of things, all my problems now seems insignificant.   Today marks the day of a global transformation of consciousness! did the cats!!!
…so did the cats!!!

I wonder if the malls will be extra busy today, when people realize that they didn’t combust as planned and that yes, they do still need to finish their Christmas shopping.  Sucks to be them.  I erred on the side of caution and got all that material nonsense out of the way months ago.

I don’t know about you, but after all that has gone wrong in the world over the past few weeks, I am now stepping lighter this morning, with a new lease on life and my Christmas cheer meeter is off the charts.  Good will t’wards men indeed.  Fa la la la laaaaa, la la, la la!

This Christmas I vow to choke back Christmas cake without complaint and I will take this to heart: “Love thy neighbor,” even if one parks in the street and partially blocks the driveway, the other sneaks onto our property and cuts back our maple tree when she thinks I’m not looking and the people behind us leave their ratty little terrier out in their back garden to bark incessantly all summer.

Good luck out there!




8 Comments Add yours

  1. I hate to ruin your day of high fiving, but the world ends tonight at midnight. The ‘Mayan Calander’ ended after today. Good Luck with the zombies and such.

    1. Noooooo! Just when I thought the stress of it all was over. Guess I’ll have to go unpack my survival gear. Thanks for the heads up! 🙂

      1. That’s what I’m here for. No need to pack survival gear, I hear you cannot survive the solar flare anyway. All life, toast, except Keith Richards, Regis, and Castro.

      2. Well, I brought a can of SPF 100 – so, if applied liberally, I think I’ll survive for an extra few seconds. I had also toyed with the idea of wearing metallic eyeshadow and some light reflecting foundation (quite popular in stores). I think all these things combined will give me a leg up. Makeup has come a LONG way and is now quite sophisticated. I am bummed that I don’t have anything glittery or shiny to wear in my closet though and am now wishing that my style was a bit more tacky.

        Well, the people around me don’t know that the end of the world is actually tonight, so I will let them enjoy their day while they can. Maybe that’s how it should be.


      3. SPF 100 is that also known as paint?

      4. Not quite. This dries clear. I am thinking it’s more like shellack.

      5. I don’t think I’ve ever had this much of a conversation about women’s make-up ever. I’m going to stop now.

      6. 🙂 Enjoy your last day on earth.

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