Cats are fickle little creatures, tolerating human love and affection on their own terms. Ever tried to hug (or sometimes just pet) an unwilling cat? Just the once, you’re thinking, right? Yeah, me too. If they weren’t all made so damn cute and snugly looking! <sigh>
Today I hit upon the perfect solution. If you want your cat to sit patiently at your side and maybe even linger briefly when strangers come over, you have GOT to make yourself a cat trap. I was going to patent this design, but it seemed too easy to duplicate, so I decided to gift the plans to my readers instead. Merry Christmas.
Here’s how you make the cat trap: Drag a few boxes together. Be sure to have one small box inside a medium sized box, resting against a large box. Artfully decorate your trap with a lure, made out of crinkled tissue paper. Your cat will helplessly follow this little carrot, until he/she moves into the orbit of the boxes and gets sucked in by their gravitational pull. Your cat will linger, cocooned in its cramped cardboard nest; joyously detached from its external environment.
See above example (that’s me, under the cat, on the right): Stark evidence illustrating how we have veered off course in modern day pet ownership. Somewhere along the way, we forgot about the mystical powers of boxes in relation to feline manipulation. Clearly the Egyptians had access to ancient teachings, long since forgotten – until now.
Voila! Proof positive. My cat Maui finds this cat trap irresistible. She normally doesn’t like to be photographed, but she found this cat trap so enticing, that she sat through an entire photo shoot, suitably placated, while I danced around with a camera.
I could tell that all the scrutiny was starting to get on her nerves though. I’d pushed her patience to its five minute limit. Maui really just wanted to be left alone, to zone out in her cat trap, so I tip toed off, leaving her to contemplate the splendor of her new treasure.